Grrrrrr

If your ILs mispronounced your child's name every time they said it (even though they'd been hearing it pronounced for 3 months before your child came home), wouldn't you correct them?

After hearing my ILs pronounce K's name wrong for several hours last night, I lost hope that simply hearing us say it frequently would get them to start saying it properly.  So I finally corrected them this morning.  Then, after several more hours of mispronouncing, I corrected my MIL once again.  She replied "Well, it's not exactly a normal name!"

Excuse me, this is your GRANDCHILD'S name.  I don't care whether you think it's normal or not, learn how to pronounce it.  I don't care whether you plan on using the more American-sounding nickname that your son uses from time to time, you still need to learn how to say his name properly.

FWIW, she's continued to mispronounce it since then.  It's a good thing they've gone back to the hotel for the night.

Comments

[Jitters/Enat]

She seriously cannot get it right. Not normal??? What did you say? I think I may have smacked her.

[Shanna]

Grrr is right. Not quite as bad, but I had to needle my in-laws for a little while before they finally stopped using an Anglicized nickname for my daughter/their granddaughter. (Our kids have only Hebrew names, though not ones with any sounds that don't normally occur in English.)

[jesspond]

Is his name pronounced differently than it LOOKS? Because it doens't seem that hard....

I would think that hearing it a couple times ought to get them saying it right. I'm glad for your sake that they're going to a hotel tonight, too!!

:)

[Erinity]

I have the same name as you - and my IRISH grandmother and great aunt couldn't pronounce my name for ages. My mother would constantly correct them, and my aunt continued to call me Erwin on and off her whole life. My graduation card from her had it written on it!

It is soo inconsiderate. :(

[ms. sleepingcat]

That's just rude. Does she have a hearing problem? A strange accent that is making her mispronounce things? Marbles in her mouth? Anything that can account for this behavior?

NOT nice at all-- my sympathies.

[Rachel Inbar]

I just found your blog and read your amazing story :-) Your little boys are so precious! ILs require so much patience... Hang in there!

[kati]

Erin, congratulations (on being a real parent....couldn't resist)!!!! Your little boys are very sweet.

I am so glad you finally have K. home with you.

[SaraS-P]

That pisses me off. It just indicates lack of respect for other cultures.

Sometimes you have to be the annoying correcting person to address ignorance.

[beagle]

How frustrating.

Would it make a difference if your husband did the correcting?

[Courtney]

Well, since you only recently became a "real parent", and that only by doing it "the easy way", it's no surprise that you'd fail to recognize how not normal a name you've so very ill advisedly respected and maintained for your son.

(Removes tongue from cheek...after picking up jaw from keyboard. Good grief MIL!) I am so glad you got that little break during the visit when they went to the hotel and hope that you are decompressing a bit now that they've gone home. It does show a disappointingly disrespectful mindset to find K's name "not exactly a normal name". But hopefully it's more ignorance than something she'll hold onto--she seems to be mistaking the concept of unfamiliar and normal. Hopefully your correction will plant some seeds and hopefully J can join in on that effort as well.

In the meantime, you are such a lucky family. You and J to have each other and those two glorious little boys. P and K to have you as parents. You are a wise and protective mommy and you'll help them navigate this world with strength, compassion and grace. Of that I am quite sure.

[hope548]

Oh, that would be annoying! My MIL always calls our pets the wrong thing, and she can't spell my name after 15 years around the family and 11 years of marriage. I guess I know what I have to look forward to!

[Ms. C]

Oh WOW. That's really just NOT acceptable. In any way, shape or form. I'm sorry you had to endure that, Erin.

(And I truly understand the frustration. My husband and I have different mother tongues and his parents rarely make an effort to pronounce anything properly in English. We seached high and low for a name for our son that can work in both languages, but I am still fearful that they will not make an effort to pronounce the name properly.)

I wish I had some advice... I send you hugs.

Oh, and thanks for the pics!! Your boys are gorgeous!

[Jennifer]

Good grief, what poster children for passive/agressive. Time for the husband to step up and lay down some rules. Geez. I know that it probably wouldn't do any good to just blow a gasket and let them have it, but it sure would be cathartic! ;)

Here's to some peace and quiet once they leave!

[Christy]

His name really isn't very hard to say. I'll be interested to hear what they insist on calling him. Next time they come, tell them you've changed it just for them and present them with something tonal with clicks in it.

[lucky2#2]

Grrr, indeed. That is pretty bad. I guess your IL has a speech impediment!

[Krista]

Honestly, I do not think that I could maintain diplomacy if they could not be bothered to learn their grandson's name. It's not like you are asking them to learn the whole language. Honestly, some people have zero common sense.

And by the way he's stunning!

[sky girl]

Holy cow. Here I thought you hadn't been posting. Reader just now updated me with the last 4 of your posts.

*sigh*

I feel so behind.

[Amy]

Ok Erin, where are you? I'm a little concerned that we haven't heard from you since the IL visit, did you make it out ok???? Please update!

[Juliette (new baby soon) Gold]

I had to smile when I read this post. We have exactly the same with our parents and in-laws, and it's very frustrating.

Don't let it get you down. After a few years you just get used to it. You can educate your child to understand that this isn't really their real name.

If you really want to be sneaky, encourage the child to (very politely) correct their grandparents when they get the name wrong! It seems that GPs are more likely to listen to the beloved grandchild than the dumb parents who picked the name (or the child with the name) in the first place!